How’s it hangin’ gents, my name’s Seven, and I didn’t get up to much this week, thanks to the cold virus making its way around BKK. I was laid up for a few days but did manage to get out and peruse the various redlight art exhibitions comprising the Now! Patpong Gallery Night on Friday.
‘Twas a night of many festivities. There were art shows in Black Pagoda, XXX Lounge, and the Patpong Museum, plus the soft-soft opening of Drunk Man burritos on Soi 2.
The crowds were out early onPong, many of them art enthusiasts. Patrons came to my exhibition in almost double digits, tying the turn out for the original show at Candle Light Studio in 2020. My pictures adorned the walls of XXX Lounge A-Gogo and looked right at home haloing the girls onstage, some of whom were models for those same said pictures, and they seemed tickled to see themselves depicted in the warmly-lit works on display (video/photo YouTube montage viewable via the link below).
Black Pagoda broke out photos and a floor-to-ceiling video by Gabriel Camelin, who also had stuff up in CLS. I wasn’t able to check it out because the entrance is located too close to the psycho mamasan who verbally abuses me every night in Pong. On the ground floor near the entrance to BP, Drunk Man Burritos set up their cart with three different flavors: beef, barbacoa, and carnitas. I opted for the latter. ‘Twas a delumptious (delicious and scrumptious) snack, and a perfect pairing for a night of drinking, packed with pork, cheese, rice, beans, salsa and avocado. It filled me up so much that I couldn’t sample the other two, but there’ll be plenty of time for that when the cart returns on the 15th for the soft opening of Delaney’s live music bar. Meanwhile, XXX had their own snacks on offer, grilling up sausage rolls on the terrace. After hitting me up for cash, galpals Earn and Pu each wolfed down a sausage between dance rotations (photos in the latest YouTube montage, link at the bottom). Earn got a new tattoo yesterday—an outline to be filled in later covering both ass cheeks.
In between gently harassing the girls at XXX I popped over to see Som at King’s Castle and Joy at Bada Bing, who jumped into my lap to coerce a drink from me. In exchange, I aimed my cam at her boobs and snapped a couple pics before calling it quits and heading to bed. I just didn’t have the stamina to stay out, what with my sniffles.
Saturday wasn’t as busy on account of it not being Gallery Night, but nearly every gogo was full up by 9 pm. Pink Panther is now fully stocked with 30 dancers, including a new clique of hotsters who all know each other and who move through the gogo like the Pink Ladies in “Grease.” They’re hot and they know it. Young, pouting, tattooed sex-wunderkinder. Baifern, who got her start in the Panther 6 years ago and quickly relocated to Soi Thaniya is back at PP. I barfined Baifern (“Baifined” for short) back in 2017 and she even modeled for some of my artwork. Several renderings of her back tattoo currently hang in XXX Lounge (now through Nov 17). Speakiing of XXX, Bpai left her phone in the bar’s toilet last week and some asshole customer stole it. And yet, she had a new phone yesterday. I’ve no idea how these girls, who live tip-to-tip and day-to-day pull off large purchases like that. Maybe she scored a short-timer. Earn sported a new tattoo on Friday—an outline that covers both ass cheeks. No wonder she won’t stop bugging me to come to my room. She needs cash to fill in the color.
At 22.00 I swung into King’s Castle and got the last open seat. ‘Twas absolutely raging. I had a weird lucid moment whilst watching the mayhem with my headphones in and realized I’m probably the only one in the redlight whose soundtrack includes Echo & the Bunnymen. At one point, a farang couple—both blonde, dude skinny, chick fat—sat down and scrutinized the menu for 5 long minutes before bailing without ordering. It was unclear whether the fatty made the call or the drinks were too expensive. They had the look of hippie backpackers on a budget. Speaking of, I missed a social cue earlier that day while walking through Silom. A grungy, oily hippie passed me on the street and smiled and nodded at me, which I ignored out of a natural hatred for tourists and hippies before realizing he took me for one of his kind. For the two years of scamdemic lockdowns the barber shops were closed, and so I let my hair grow out. Then when they reopened, I just didn’t feel like getting it cut. Now, my coif is long and scraggly. Combine that with my beard and I bear an alarming resemblance to the Big Lebowski. It’s no wonder hippies nod at me in the street. They think I’m a kindred soul.
Although I was under the weather, I did venture out t’Pong earlier in the week—specifically on Loy Kratong, the exact wrong day to hit a redlight, as most of the girls were busy putting floating candles in the Chao Phraya. It was the one day Black Pagoda had more girls than XXX. It was fun to watch bewildered tourists peering through gogo doorways and seeing no dancers on the stages. XXX had two. Radio City had zero. Bada Bing with six. That’s a Patpong Loy Kratong.
I rate the general hotness of a gogo dancer using two main factors: age and weight. The younger she is and the lower her body-mass index, the hotter the girl. Additionally, there are some less-crucial determiners like scars, prettiness, and attitude. By these criteria, Patpong utterly destroys both Nana and Cowboy for hot-to-not girl ratio, despite Nana having triple the number of dancers.
And that’s all the monger that’s fit to ponder for now, friends. Check back next Sunday for another summary of red-light events. In the meantime, you can read more about Bangkok life on my Substack: https://bangkokseven.substack.com/
Redlight videos and slide shows, including the companion for this post, can be found at https://www.youtube.com/c/BangkokSeven
Follow me on Twitter @BangkokSeven for daily pics from the redlight, and until next time, keep your balls warm, your beer cold, and cheers to another week above ground in the greatest country on Earth: Thailand.
Pro Tip Post-Script: I’ve said this many times before but given the massive numbers of idiot tourists flooding into Thailand at present, it bears repeating: crosswalks/zebra crossings in Thailand do not function the same as in your home country. If you step into the street expecting traffic to stop for you, you’ll spend the rest of your Thai holiday in the hospital. Pedestrians do not have the right of way here. As the person not encased in a two-tonne steal cage, you are responsible to not put yourself in the path of an oncoming vehicle. You must wait for a long enough lull in traffic to cross the street without forcing cars to slow down. Sometimes, a kind driver will stop and let you pass, but that doesn’t mean the car in the next lane will do the same. In short, do not cross in front of a moving vehicle. You will get hurt.
