Greetings, reader. How’s your ballsack hangin’? If you’re in Thailand, the answers is probably ‘low and steamy.’ Cuz y’know, it’s hot. My original plan for today’s post was a rehash of my most recent weekend in Pattaya, but since some Pong-related news has sprung up, I thought I’d postpone the Ptown rundown and tell you what’s going on Pongwards of late. It’s going to be short, though, because I’ve missed Ponging the last few nights due to temporarily relocating to a different continent.
One day last week, I can’t remember when, I was in Black Pagoda by 19.30. All the first-string girls were already bogarted by a crewdes (crew of dudes). I guess that’s the advantage for a bar that opens early. There aren’t many gogos competing for customers before 20.00. Sai, Saa, and Best sat canoodling with a horny horde in the corner of the bar. I snapped a photo of Mint’s back tattoo and a girls sweet titties who used to work in King’s Corner. Speaking of King’s, the Castle had a new PYT. Beautiful, innocent, petite, clearly fresh off the farm—in other words, pure magic. She’d be chewed up and spat out by the end of the month. As I was leaving BP, I ran into another local and we said a brief hello. As I paused for the two seconds to say the ‘hel’ and ‘lo,’ I was hit on the arm from behind. It was two farang chicks who were fleeing the Pagoda, and I had ever so briefly blocked their path to the stairs. I reflexively said “Kor taut” thinking it was a Thai. Then I saw her flabby white face and thought, Bitch, you crashed my party. I should be excusing you, not the other way around.
The Bing gets busier by the day. Soon they’ll have to reopen the 2nd floor. Their outside redecoration was completed last week. It turned out to be 4 LED displays. They look pretty cool.
King’s Castle 2—the gogo next to the Castle that has been shut since before the plandemic—reopened on Friday. It’s a testament to how well the Soi 1 bars are doing post-tourist ban. That brings the total number of King’s gogos to 3, and doesn’t include the pool hall, Muzzik live music bar, and the corner bar across from Tip-Top.
In Radio City a new girl put the hard sell to this old soi dog. The poor girl didn’t know better, so a few of the other dancers pulled her away and instructed her to leave Seven be.
The beer garden’s popularity means Chang alone will no longer suffice. Taps for Singha and Leo are doing in, as well. Shenanigan’s Snug–the VIP room next door to Shag’s–is finished and ready to receive patrons. The booths have private TVs for sports fans. The overall feel of the place is basically a green version of the Red Lion over on Suk Soi 13. It’s a nice addition to the joint. I predict another expansion into the old Volcano Ramen location before the end of the year, and by 2030 the entire building will be one big Shenanaganza.
On Thursday I Tweeted a pic of a girl’s big beautiful booty from Pink Panther, and Twitter had the gall to put a ‘warning label’ on it. This is a platform that freely allows pornography warning people about the gogo cancer in my photo. Some people commented that it likely happened because someone reported the pic, and that at least makes sense. And it’s true there’s one particular gutless cunt in Bangkok who envies my access to the bars as well as my Twitter reach, and instead of making a better effort himself, he simply false-reports my content as a matter of course, trying to wreck my social media presence.
Speaking of Twitter, I got a few comments recently about girls not smiling in the photos. “She looks bored LMAO,” said one dickstain about a King’s Corner girl. Yes, assdouche, she probably is bored. It was 20.00, the start of her work day, she’d probably only been awake for a couple of hours, there were no customers in the gogo yet, and doing the skytrain shuffle for 8 hours is boring. Surprise! Also, most Bangkok gogo dancers have no modeling experience. They don’t know how to pose, or smile, or be expressive in pictures. There was nobody to teach these skills back on the farm in Isaan. They’re not Kardashians or IG influencers. They’re just regular chicks on the job.
In the same week, a dude commented asking, “Why are there no customers in the bar?” Well dickface, it’s because 1—L’Pong doesn’t get busy till after 22.00 most nights, and I flit around taking pictures between 20.00 and 21.00. This is precisely because I don’t want customers in the shot. It turns out BKK whoremongers don’t like having their photo snapped in the redlight—go figure. And 2—for this same reason, when I do see customers in the frame, I angle my lens away from them out of courtesy. Maybe that’s not a logical assumption for some, but it should be.
Back at King’s Castle, they’ve started to force the outside hostesses to get up onstage once or twice a night and shake a little booty. It’s not a bad business decision, though the girls themselves don’t seem thrilled about it. The Castle’s on a roll of good decisions—except for one small blunder, and that’s the hiring of a couple flamboyant ladyboys as bar staff. I think one token LB per bar is tolerable, as long as she doesn’t make a scene. But it’s nearly impossible for them to remain low-key. And even one katoey will drive away clientele.
Whilst inside, I got a drink for one of my galpals. She ordered a tequila-n-Coke, one of the weirdest cocktails I’d ever heard of. I asked her what would possess a person to order such a concoction. She explained that it gets her drunk faster than anything else on the menu. Well, cheers to that, honey.
One night last week, I set out for the Pong with my TrueMove internet bill, intending to pay it at 7-11 sometime during the evening. At the end of the night, as I went to fish the bill out of my pocket, it was gone. Somehow it had fallen out between my front door and the Night Market. As I drunkenly retraced my Pongbound route backwards to my apartment, convinced I’d never find it in a million years, I rounded the corner onto Soi 3, looked down, and there it was in the middle of the street with tire tread marks across the front. The odds of finding it were in the gutter, which ironically is where it turned up.
In other weird good-fortune news, I’m not sure what to think about the Thai govt this week. They sent me a letter saying I overpaid my income tax by 875 baht and I should come in and collect it. So not only did they admit they owe me money, but they actually attempted to give it back to me. I was gobsmacked. They’re more responsible with my cash than I am.
I’ll never get used to seeing tourists mistreat ping pong barkers. Yes, they pester, and they don’t take ‘no’ for an answer, but that’s their job. If you’re farang and you got on the plane, flew here, and deliberately walked into the redlight, then the one to blame for you being accosted by ping pong barkers is you, fuckface. You intruded into their space. For that, you owe them a little patience. There’s a polite way to turn them down. You don’t have to lose your shit, or yell, or get in someone’s face. Just say “No thank you.” Why’s that so hard? It’s a rhetorical question. I guess courtesy just doesn’t come easy for dickheads.
And that’s all the monger that’s fit to ponder for now, friends. Check back next Sunday for another summary of red-light events. In the meantime, you can read more about Bangkok life on my Substack: https://bangkokseven.substack.com/
Photos of everything in this blog can be found in the YouTube slideshow companion for this post at:
https://www.youtube.com/c/BangkokSeven
If you’re in a generous mood, you can donate anytime at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/bangkok7
Follow me on Twitter @BangkokSeven for daily pics from the redlight, and until next time, keep your balls warm, your beer cold, and cheers to another week above ground in the greatest country on Earth: Thailand.
Pro Tip Post-Script: One thing this old monger doesn’t do is carry a wallet. First, it’s too bulky and uncomfortable. Second, it’s an easy target for thieves. Third, it’s too easy to leave in some bar when intoxicated. Instead, I distribute my cash throughout the pockets of my cargo shorts. 1,000s go in one location, 500s in another, 100s another, and 20s in the side slot for easy gogo tipping. And no matter which pocket a picker might pick, I still have enough to taxi home.
