What’s up mingemongers and moneyhoneys, my name’s Seven and this is my weekly confession. How you livin’, reader? If you said, “like every day could be my last,” I say Good on ya. Because if you haven’t been paying attention to the news (and I hope you haven’t), the war Russia and Ukraine has radically escalated, to the point that Putin could use nukes at any moment. According to news outlets, Marvel’s new Black Panther is white, so that should spark a race war. Two Chinese nationals were arrested in the US for agro-terrorism. They tried to sneak in with a fungus that destroys grain. Yet another Chinese traveler was stopped at the airport with samples of SARS and other flu viruses in his luggage. The world is at war—there’s no other way to say it. Let’s hope we here in Thailand are safely tucked away from it all and won’t get sucked into it. Otherwise we mongers might find ourselves in a Koh Samui internment camp.
Speaking of the Chinese, the Chexit (Chinese tourist exit) from Thailand reached nuclear levels last week, according to every Thai news outlet. And look, I get it. The prices of most things are ridonculous at the mo. But you gotta take the good with the bad. Higher costs mean fewer brainless, witless, tactless foreigners stomping around our beautiful paradise. And since things aren’t going to get better, and since we’re circling a global toilet bowl with precious few weeks of happiness left before the whole planet goes tits-up, we might as well not winge about the price of beer and just live it up. Speaking for myself, this old fat squirrel’s just trying to get whatever nuts fall within grabbing distance.
On Sunday, I went out at 18.00 for gang kiow wan and ended up smoking a Cuban in the Patpong beer garden while the Night Market was being set up. Sunday was also June 1st, the beginning of Pride Month, and the gays were out in force from minute 1 of day 1. And look, I know f4om the content of my posts that it seems like I’m averse to the gays. I’m not, though I’ll admit I’m homophonic, but for good reason. Aside from Guido at G’s German and my cousin, every other gay I’ve met in my lifetime has either 1—suggested I try gayness, 2—strongly urged me to try gayness, or 3—outright tried to rape me. So yes, I’m phobic of the gays. I’m scared of them the way every woman fears sharing a lift with a man they don’t know. And living in Silom means I’m in the parades whether I like it or not. I will say, I’m much happier enduring pride month in Thailand. The gays here are less aggressive towards straights. They get it if you’re not in their club, and in 15 years none of em have tried to assault me. In LA it’s the opposite. I do see an increase in freakazoids in the parades compared to previous years. It’s as if Pride Month gives the weirdest sex dementos an excuse to flaunt the kinds of gross personas normally restricted to fetish clubs and their bedrooms.
Speaking of phobias, I’m also a transphobe. Not when it comes to ladyboys, though. I’m talking about western trannies. They’re fucking psychopaths. A couple of them dragged their knuckles through the Night Market whilst I enjoyed my cigar. I’m always shocked when I see a farans (farang trans) in Thailand. I get why they come here. Every idiot who’s never been to TLOS thinks it’s 100% ladyboys. The tranang (trans farang) think they’ll be welcomed with open arms. They don’t realize that, to everyone here—including the ladyboys—foreign Trans Ams are totally alien. Also prevalent in the early evening Night Market: dirtbag hippy backpackers.
I forgot to mention that my week started out crazily. I get my side-gig salary from a company overseas, and when they transferred May’s paycheck, it got frozen in cyberspace by those two fucking bank holidays on Monday and Tuesday for the Queen’s birthday. And I hate digging into my savings, so for two days I just bit the bullet and spent zero baht. I suppose that’s how I ended up hitting Patpong three separate times on Wednesday, a first and last-time event for this pudgy pussy-addict. The first visit occurred at 08.30 when my daily walk took me up and down both sois, then over to Lumphini Park. Later that afternoon I was famished with no cash and nothing in the house so I broke for Shenanigan’s and a late keto breakkie. Then I hurried home to be showered and shaved in time for the arrival of my deepthroating concubine. Then a couple hours after she left, I was bored senseless and so waddled down t’Pong to ogle some poontang. Some Pongtang.
In K1 the girls were still wiping the sleep out of their eyes. I had one cocktail and sped to K Corner, because that’s the earliest I’d ever seen the joint. I got in before 20.00 and the rotas were already impressive. There are only two reasons to be in the gogo that early. You’re either an overanxious sex tourist who left your hotel at 17.00 or you’re hunting for the best gals before they get scooped up. I was neither, a fish in wrong water. The new girls don’t know what to make of me. I wish they handed out a brochure about me to all newcomers, so they know how to act.
A bearded farang grabbed up the hottest girl in the Corner and proceeded to take his shot. Communication was hindered by Google translate, but once she quoted her shorttime fee, he soured to the deal. As I got up to leave, a hot veteran grabbed me and launched into a distribution about Jack Nites and how he hadn’t sent over her photos from the other night. I told her I’d reach out to Jack, and that seemed to calm her down. Back in K3 I made acquaintance with a handful of new fillies. None seemed too enthused to meet Seven, but when the day comes that they need emergency rent money, their tune will change tout suite. It always does.
Then I pivoted to Virgin, which is still undergoing a remodel and set to open again on Friday. I made a mental note to come back then, and slipped into VirginX where all the regular Virgin gals plus some fetching newbies were giving the hungry eye. I was one of four customers in the whole place. These days, Patpong soi 2 is cursed. They just can’t get butts in seats. The pixie dust wore off when XXX Lounge and Black Pagoda closed. That was a death blow. Every attempt to make something happen there now is like trying to perform CPR on a long-dead corpse.
At least the ladyboys are easy to spot in VirginX. I counted four. Some girl I didn’t recognize was bouncing on a nipon’s lap. Suddenly she saw me, waved, wai’d and smiled. I wai’d back, and from then on the nipon gave me the evil eye until I finished my drink and bailed. For some stupid reason VirginX charges 200 baht for a vodka soda when it’s 180 everywhere else. That’s just peak stupidity.
There was no visible reduction in sino tourists onPong, and I witnessed an uptick in the numbers of stomach-turning, weird, misshapen farang dorks that clogged the Night Market like plaque in an artery. Maybe low season has become the season for Cheap Charlie’s who can’t afford to go on holiday any other time, infest Thailand like ticks on a dog. If so, the next four months are going to be torture.
On Friday I meant to schlep out to Cowboy but then I remembered Virgin was supposed to reopen with their new shower and x-rated shows, so off t’Pong I skipped like Little Redlight Riding Hood. My first stop per usual was King’s Castle 1 where a first rota of 20 chubsters made me thoroughly depressed. Half of rota 2 were equally chunkified, to my dismay. My buddy Pim wasn’t there so I had no one to goof around with. A nipon walked in and plucked a gal from the stage for a ladydrink. This is typically not something a farang can do. The girls always say they have to finish their rotation first. I chalk it up to culture differences and don’t take offense. King’s 3 was sparsely staffed with four chunkolas onstage. After polishing off my cocktail i got up to leave and a crew of four late-arriving hotties strolled in. The lesson there is, hit K3 after 22.00.
There were lots of nipons acting up on the night. Everywhere I went, they strutted around like they owned the Pong. Actually, they mightve been sinos. I’m still not savvy enough to tell them apart at a glance. Wherever they were from, they created a toxic cloud of halitosis that permeated every gogo on Soi 1. I kept gagging on the stench.
King’s Corner was the winner yet again, with 60-odd girls, 20 of whom were fuckable. I get mobbed by ex-Bada Bing girls when I go in there. They, like me, seem to be trying to get back to a long-gone time of redlight delight that simply can’t exist in current year. The magic is gone. That time has passed. It doesn’t mean there can’t be a new high, a new monger-normal (mongormal for short), but it just won’t be the same. Call it a silver age, not a golden one.
After the four King’s I finally ambled over to Virgin, only to find it shut. I guess the remodel didn’t get done on time. I was pleased to see that dragon and koi—the gay bar that took over where The Patpong Cafe used to be—was also shuttered. Here’s hoping the gay-centric venues on the south end of soi 2 either close permanently or don’t materialize. I’d love to see a straight bar go up in it’s place, and for the gays trying to take the old xxx lounge location to give up and retreat back to surawong.
I doubled back to the k1 terrace for a backwoods and b ruskie. The night market was packed cheek to jowl with sinos and nipons, plus a few gelatinous solo farams (farang clams) on their one-woman eatpraylove vacation. A coupla middle aged American Karen’s (amerikarens) got scolded for trying to take photos through the k1 doorway. 5 minutes later the same two cunts tried again to snap a pic of the stage. Damn, the cheek of these walking yeast infections. We need to bring back slapping women around. Not outright abuse, but you know what I’m saying. Not enough Western clams get popped in the mouth these days. They need to be put back in line. Taken in hand, as the British say.
As I finished my drink, a galpal was returning from a shorttime barfine. To give you an idea of how long he lasted, they left as I sat down on the terrace. I asked if he was well endowed. She said yes. I asked if her minge was sore. She said he couldn’t finish so they gave up. Uh, what the fuckity fuck? Who pays for a tryst and then leaves without busting? Seriously what’s wrong with the younger generation?
Since I’d been denied a gander at Virgin and didn’t want to go home, I popped back into K1, which was much more crowded with hotties than 90 minutes earlier.
Check this out, mongers. I saw this happen twice while I was out. A young dude walks into the gogo, does a lap or two, finds a seat, and when the barmaid comes to take his order, he says no and leaves. What the fuck is that? A free eyeful? How does that improve one’s quality of life? Are they too cucked to stay and make a move? What the fuck has happened to Western men? I’m befuddled.
On my way home I stopped at 7-11 for tea and water. There were 15 nipons crowding the cashiers. I shouted “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Only a 7-11 staffer reacted. All that is to say, despite news articles to the contrary, low-season Bangkok is still lousy with sinos and nipons to the degree that it’s very noticeable, especially in the redlight.
And that was the end of my week, reader. Sorry it wasn’t more exciting.
In other news, it turns out that morning walks through the busy Bangkok streets provide a multitude of sensory delights. Number one on that list is of course the extraordinary street food scene. Every Thai nine-to-fiver needs to pick up breakfast and lunch on their way to work, and the grub on offer in the mornings puts night markets to shame. Speaking of, the Patpong early am market is easily more fresh and eclectic (freshlectic for short, copyright BKK7) than the Night Market’s food court.
A close second to the food, though, is the bevy of beautiful babes on their way to the office. Holy Moses, but Thailand is rammed with superhot civilians. For a nightlife monger like myself, it’s a poignant reminder that a great many of the country’s most gorgeous gals are just regular chicks.
This week’s Members Only Gallery is an album of random photos sent to me by gogo dancer Nuchy.
The link is here: https://bangkokseven.com/members-only-gallery-nuchy-random/
but only if you become a Member. The price is $1 per month, and new content is added weekly. I’m too dumb to figure out how to link the weekly posts to a single button on my website, so I put the links on my social every Friday. Sorry for the inconvenience.
And that’s all the monger that’s fit to ponder for now, friends. Sorry for all the typos. I didn’t proofread. Check back next Sunday for another summary of this redlight life. In the meantime, you can read more Bangkok-centric stuff on my Substack: https://bangkokseven.substack.com/
Slideshows from previous blogs going back several years can be found at https://www.youtube.com/c/BangkokSeven
My buddy Jack and I host a growing Facebook community with lots of nightlife-related content at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thaiagogo
and I’ve got a small but robust group of pervs posting photos daily at a group called Super Hot Asians here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/374120690195407
Follow me on Twitter/X @BangkokSeven for daily monger material, along with these other profiles that’re chock full of photos of hotties:
@superhotthais
@BangkokNightli2
If you’re feeling generous, you can leave a tip on any of the above X profiles. All proceeds will go to creating more redlight content.
I’ve started to sell my artwork in digital download bundles, so if you fancy some gogo dancer-related pictures, mostly nude Thai chicks photoshopped as paintings, you can get ‘em on the cheap at my Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThailandNights
Right now I have several bundles of four to five pictures each (as shown below) for under $10 US apiece…
And until next time fellow BK Bukowskis and Bathshebas, keep your balls (or tits) warm, your beer cold, and cheers to another week above ground in the greatest country on Earth: Thailand.
Pro Tip Post-Script: In recent posts I made mention of my new exercise-slash-diet. It consists of intermittent fasting that is broken each day at 13.00 by eating gut-healthy fruit (kiwi and dragon fruit) plus Greek yogurt with either blackberries or blueberries. Now, you may or may not know that grocery store fruit is lousy with parasites. One way to kill them is by immersing the fruit in a mixture of white vinegar and baking soda, then rinsing with water. But as you know, here in TLOS, tap water ain’t exactly sterile. So my hack is to soak the berries in vodka for 20 minutes before putting them on my yogurt, after seeing a FB video of critters under a microscope getting wiped out by the power of potato hooch. So if you’re trying to slim down, or just eat better, you can use either method to deworm your fruit.
