What’s up mingemongers and moneyhoneys, my name’s Seven and this is my weekly confession. How’s your tropical expat life going? Are you livin’ it to it’s fullest? Because we could be in hot water soon. Last week, Klaus Schwab stepped down as head of the World Economic Forum—the cabal of supervillains trying to cull the population while cramming the survivors into 15 Minute Cities to “eat ze bugs.” He was replaced by someone even more evil—the former head of Nestle, who famously said “Water should not be free” anywhere in the world. What this means for us Thailand exiles is crossing our fingers and hoping the globalist, New World Order agenda takes its time reaching our shores. I for one am still holding out hope that we will be able to watch the collapse of the West from a safe distance. Speaking of, Europe experienced power outages last week mere days after shifting to completely renewable energy. Shockingly, instead of rethinking such terrible ideas, the rest of the developed world is following suit. And although Thailand has pledged to Pied Piper along with those stupid nations toward useless “green” electricity, the upside is, the govt will likely not be competent enough to implement it.
But the bad news doesn’t end there. Technically I’m retired, but my side hustle is training people online from all over the world for an international certification program. I’ve been doing it for 12 years, and in that time I’ve observed a steady worldwide decline in cognitive ability. The population of the planet has gotten steadily stupider. It’s been quite disconcerting to witness, but nothing could’ve prepared me for what would happen when people began to use Ai to write their answers for them. In one short year, my students have lost their ability to think up even the simplest answers to the most straightforward questions. For those of us who learned to use our brains before the advent of this technology, the responsibility for keeping the world going is now on our shoulders, and as we die off, the only people left to run things will be brain-dead fucking retards. I predict the world will end when there are no humans smart enough to keep the planet’s nuclear reactors from melting down. Between now and then, expect more planes to fall out of the sky, cars to crash, food poisonings, hospital deaths, and cops killing people for no reason. Your best bet for survival is to move to one of Thailand’s small islands like Koh Lanta and steer clear of other humans as much as possible. I’m not exaggerating, we are fucked. The movie “Idiocracy” has come true.
Speaking of changing locations, I was all set to pull the trigger on a move to Pattaya last week. I found an apartment close to Phra Tamnak Hill. My number 1 concubine had been MIA for nearly a month, and I just assumed she’d gone her own way like her predecessors, so I was poised to start packing my things. But then she messaged to say she’d been in hospital with some kind of intestinal issue. I told her I was just about to move to Ptown and she had a meltdown, so I shelved my plans to start over fresh in a new locale. Because although I’m incapable of loving anyone, I apparently have an aversion to making my harem cry. Or at least one of them. Also, the sex is just spectacular. I can’t give it up while it’s still on offer. As it stands now, I want to move. I need a change. Yet, I can’t. I’m stuck. Held in place by a young, hot vajeen.
Monday in K1 might’ve been the first time I’ve ever seen it where the customers outnumbered the girls. That basically meant the few hotties present were snagged up by customers with ladydrinks, leaving the stage looking like a set of slowly twisting rotisserie hogs. Just then the hot piece of ass I formerly chased until she quoted me 5k for short time climbed onstage and started giving me the “buy me a drink” look. From now on if she comes up in a post I’ll refer to her as Miss 5K. I had 15 minutes to down my drink and get the hell out there before she slinked over for the hard-sell.
The 2nd best looking girl in the joint got called over by a geriatric American-looking farang who ran out of things to say to her after 30 seconds. As they sat there in silence, not even looking at each other, I felt a sense of gratitude for those chatty, charismatic girls who can ask questions and create a vibe. I realize not every gal is fluent enough for that, and who knows—in time the hottie might well learn how. In the meantime, though, it’s the punter’s responsibility to meet a lady halfway. Tourists are off the hook, but a proper Thailand monger has an obligation to have game, and have it in Thai.
Despite the dearth of dancers, Kings3 had three new hotskinnies. They sat together, idly sucking on lollipops. The newbies onPong are all quite young, but they’re already sharks. Their flirtations are like razor blades. Their game has teeth like a vampire. How they gained such an edge at such a young age is beyond my reasoning. Actually, I know how. I blame social media. These birds can post a selfie dance video on Facebook and get thousands of responses. These days they’re conceited and entitled by the time they turn 20. The best kind of girl is one who is beautiful but doesn’t know it. I’ve referred to it before as “Cosette Syndrome,” from Hugo’s Les Miserables. The worst kind of girl isn’t an outright ugly one—it’s a hottie who knows she’s hot. You might as well not even talk to those skanks.
K Corner was an insane asylum per usual with 2 rotas of 25, some chubby, some extraordinary. It’s a truly mesmerizing sight. I got the 2nd to last seat. The only other open seat was next to mine and just as I settled in, a nipon and his barfine came in. They wanted the spot next to mine and so the dude indicated that I should get up to allow them to pass. I shook my head and told him to work his way around the tables instead. He obliged out of Japanese politeness. I could’ve gone out of my way to not neg him in front of his girl, but I wasn’t about to move just because he’s not smart enough to figure out how to get to the seat on his own. It may seem petty, but a man shouldn’t give another man an inch. Once you start that kind of shit, there’s no telling where it will end.
New2 had so many ladydrinks going. It’s easily the coziest gogo in the Pong to cuddle up in a dark corner with a half-naked hussy for some R-rated canoodling. The former cake-taker for that was The Strip. It’s a shame such a pillar of the redlight had to fall. Then again, all the best Pong gogos are gone. Black Pagoda, XXX Lounge, Glamour, The Strip. And harkening back further, Superstar, Kiss, Goldfinger, and Thigh Bar. All the best venues. In Nana and Cowboy, the best bars of yore died from poor management and hot girl migration. In Patpong, the cops did it.
Virgin was at less than half capacity with four customers and four chicks onstage. I think I’m just gonna give out my Line to half a dozen skinnies in there and whoever needs cash can come over. I’m tired of this “old man and the sea” version of reeling in clunge. If you need to pay rent, great. If not, also great. I don’t have the energy anymore. I also can’t see myself hitting up Virgin regularly going forward, because every time I set foot on Soi 2 I get accosted by half a dozen Thais all begging for beer money. Having said that, one thing Virgin does best in the Pong is pour. A vodka soda in the other bars is 180 baht. The same drink in Virgin is also 180 baht, but it’s twice the size. Sure, maybe it’s 90% soda, but still. Bigger is bigger. The 2nd rota was five chubsters. The rest were sat with customers.
On the way home I grabbed some indica gummies hoping they’d help me sleep. I’m of the pre-legal CBD generation so I forget you can do that. I’ve been trying to knock myself out with booze like it’s 1979 or something. They worked like a charm, but they’re 250b apiece, which ain’t great on a retiree’s budget. I’ll have to shop around for a better price, because I like ‘em.
On Friday it was so goddam hot it took all my strength to get off the couch and Pong. I struggled to the redlight like Yeats slouching to Bethlehem to be born. In K1 I was immediately accosted by Offy. I chided her for letting herself get chubby. She blamed it on being ill and just eating and sleeping every day. I told her it was no excuse and that the only thing she should put in her mouth is my wang. She said “Really?” looking hopeful like I’d take her on. I said, “No.” Offy is cute and sweet but she’ll never be hot enough for conc status.
The stage was more, ahem! buxom than usual. I’ve always been happy with the King’s Group’s hottie to chubby ratio. But on the night, I saw a little too much thickness. It’s OK. I knew the other three King’s locations would be rife with slim clunge.
The King’s customer base is largely sino-nipon, and although it may seem at times like I’m complaining about it, I prefer them to a gang of idiot farang. At least the Asians are polite, and they mind their own business, content to let you alone to enjoy your night. Too many Westerners size each other up, their inflated yet fragile egos worn on their sleeves like a snot stain. In case it’s not apparent, I get stared at a lot. I think part of it is, newbies don’t know how to act , so they find someone who’s comfortable in the gogo and try to emulate. Others are just envious. Yes, every chick in the joint knows me. Yes, they all pay respect. Yes, I dip my hand into half a dozen sets of knickers in every bar. It’s not a knock against you, newbie. It’s a natural result of living this dream for 15 years. Don’t be a hater.
Kings 3 had two new hotskinnies in one rotation. That joint is a magnet for tall, supermodel-looking gals with small tits and sixpack abs. In other words, it’s hog heaven for Seven. Foot traffic in the Night Market was down about 10% from a month ago, which in my mind ain’t nearly enough. I want to see a low season reduction of at least 50%. Get. The fuck. Outta here. You goddam. Cunting. Farang.
When I got to New2, the rota was half-chubsters which immediately put me in a bad mood. But the girls sitting around waiting to dance looked damn good, so I reserved judgment. A girl I introduce myself every time I’m in there, because in my drunken stupor I never remember her, spotted me and came over. Luckily I remembered her name this time. When she figured out I wasn’t going to buy her a drink, she scampered off. The second rota was stupid hot. They need to do a better job of distributing the good clunge because there was too much hot to take in in rota 2.
K Corner was a hot clunge factory per usual. If there’s such a concept as too much of a good thing, redlight-wise, it’s The Corner. In terms of hot available ass, they put the entire rest of Bangkok to shame. I know there are cunt cheerleaders for the likes of Billboard and Butterflies in Nana Plaza, but the King’s bars make those joints look like pure garbage. Thank God for the lying shitbags who promote those bars. I’m thrilled at the idea they’re misdirecting vast swaths of idiot tourists to those shitty venues. Yes please, stay in your lane, douches. Leave the best for we in the know.
In a segment that could be called “This Week in Stupid,” Bangkok’s biggest tit, aka Shitbag Bob aka Bob the Knob, continues to be the only one who says anything positive about his gogo bar photos. On his website Dave the Rave he praised himself again, calling his photos “superior”….superior to whom? The only other guy taking nightlife photos—Bob’s nemesis, Jack Nites. The Knob’s defense against his sole competitor is to go online pretending to be someone else and pay himself compliments. And to be fair, the example he posted (at right) is a good photo. I say that because most of his content is straight dog shit. He’s legally blind, so whether or not the photo’s good when he presses the button on the camera is pure luck. Plus, the gogo dancers revile him (because he’s vile) so he struggles to get them to pose correctly. Most of the time the gals have their guts pooched out, or they’re bent over like they need a poo. And you might be thinking, “Why does a blind slimeball choose to work in an industry where you need to have a good eye and be charming?” If I had to guess, I’d say he likely sucks at everything in life, and snapping gogo pics is the thing he sucks the least at. But he definitely sucks, and so he’s forced to pretend to be someone else and go on the interweb to talk himself up. It’s pathetic, sure. But what else would you expect from a lowlife piece of shit like Bob?
In other news, a crew of novices calling themselves “Thailand Inner Circle” have stolen one of my photos and posted it to their website without permission, which is one of the dirtiest things you can do in the redlight scene. What’s a word that means the opposite of “class”? Hmm……maybe “ass.”
It’s not redlight related per se, but I want to get something off my chest about Anthony Bourdain. In case you’ve been living under a rock for 20 years, he’s the dude who made travel-and-eat TV shows popular. He was famous for having the best job on Earth—going all over the planet and eat-drink-partying in every exotic locale you could think up. Then in 2018, he killed himself over a woman. Here’s my beef:
Actually, I have two. The first is, he called bun bo hue the greatest bowl of soup in the world. How could a dude who’s been to Thailand multiple times possibly think that a mild-mannered bowl of Vietnamese broth beats even the most mundane batch of Bangkok boat noodles? Insanity.
My second bone to pick is, as I said, he’d been to Thailand many times. What kind of jagoff would ever get so hung up on a farang clam that he offs himself? I lost all respect for the man the moment I heard. He went from being my idol to just another beta cuck douchebag who put the pussy on a precarious pedestal. And I know folks said he was having psychological problems. But who among us doesn’t have those? I’m a freaking headcase, for fucks sake. You don’t just cash it all in because some stupid piece of clunge made you feel bad. What a dumbass. That said, I rewatch his old episodes on YouTube every day, especially the ones that feature the places I miss, like Sardinia, Glasgow, Panama, Barcelona, Berlin, and Milan. I don’t watch the Thailand episodes because the so-called farang locals he got as guests are straight twats. The stupid shit they say in Thai to the Thai people is just too cringe.
The long and short is, if you know a dude who’s depressed enough over a minge that he might put a gun in his mouth, grab him by the neck and shove him onto a one-way flight to TLOS. Save him from himself. Show him my blogs so he knows he can have a harem of six young hotties who share his bed with reckless abandon. And don’t give me any bullshit about love and monogamy. Not in 2025. It’s our time to be kings, fellas. No headaches, no losing half your stuff in the divorce, no emasculating criticism, and no brainless prattling in your ear. Just tits and ass, fellas. Tits and ass. My laptop’s screensaver is a photo of my number two conc with my balls in her mouth. One cannot entertain the idea of suicide with a life like that.
This week’s Members Only Gallery is a break from the “Patpong Hottest Dancers” series and stands as something out of the ordinary. It’s a set of nude selfies and videos sent to me by a random gogo dancer and I figured since I had ‘em, I’d post ‘em for ya.
The link is here: https://bangkokseven.com/members-only-gallery-x-rated-stuff-from-a-random-pole-kitty/
but only if you become a Member. The price is $1 per month, and new content is added weekly. I’m too dumb to figure out how to link the weekly posts to a single button on my website, so I put the links on my social every Friday. Sorry for the inconvenience.
And that’s all the monger that’s fit to ponder for now, friends. Sorry for all the typos. I didn’t proofread. Check back next Sunday for another summary of this redlight life. In the meantime, you can read more Bangkok-centric stuff on my Substack: https://bangkokseven.substack.com/
Slideshows from previous blogs going back several years can be found at https://www.youtube.com/c/BangkokSeven
My buddy Jack and I host a growing Facebook community with lots of nightlife-related content at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thaiagogo
and I’ve got a small but robust group of pervs posting photos daily at a group called Super Hot Asians here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/374120690195407
Follow me on Twitter/X @BangkokSeven for daily monger material, along with these other profiles that’re chock full of photos of hotties:
@superhotthais
@BangkokNightli2
If you’re feeling generous, you can leave a tip on any of the above X profiles. All proceeds will go to creating more redlight content.
Thai chick-related artwork can be purchased at https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThailandNights
And until next time fellow BK Bukowskis and Bathshebas, keep your balls (or tits) warm, your beer cold, and cheers to another week above ground in the greatest country on Earth: Thailand.
Pro Tip Post-Script: Don’t start a Bangkok redlight blog. A few bar owners are awesome dudes, but many are either lowlife cunts or straight criminals. If you say something that could be viewed as disparaging about their venue, you get everything from wingeing to death threats. I can’t report truthfully on half the bars in this town. So just FYI, if I don’t mention a bar, it’s likely because it’s either 1—shit, or 2—the owner has threatened bodily harm if I do.
