What’s up mingemongers and moneyhoneys, my name’s Seven and this is my weekly confession. Last week, our planet inched a little closer to total destruction. Not from war, crazily enough. Trump quashed the conflict between India and Pakistan, abandoned Israel’s crusade to attack Iran, and hashed out a deal with Putin over the phone. All pistons are firing in that arena. No, the destruction I’m referring to is Ai, which experts announced has surpassed human intelligence. Different Ais are now communicating with each other using a language that people can’t understand, and the likes of Grok and ChatGPT have started deliberately lying to their users, suggesting not just consciousness, but malicious consciousness. So go ahead and have that extra pint, friends. The End is nigh.
As you probably read, there’s a Covid resurgence in Bangkok that according to news outlets will be here for the next several months. Same said journalists really want you to freak out about it, though I can’t figure out why. They’re not pushing boosters here, so it’s not a money-grab. Maybe it’s part of the population reduction agenda. Back in 2009 Bill Gates gave a famous speech and said “we” could lower the world population by 15% using vaccines. I shit you not. If you Google it you’ll get a Reuters article where the cunt reporter bends over backwards to try to make Bill say something different. But he said what he said. Flash forward to today and all the new studies showing the covid jab causes turbo cancer and there you have it. This portly punter never got the shot, namely because I’d never let the govt put something in my body that was never tested, changed your mRNA and contains spike proteins, fuck you very much. When I caught the Vid, st Louis hospital gave me a bag of antiviral tablets from Japan and my symptoms cleared in about an hour. The long-term effects of a bioweapon can’t be good, but at least they didn’t stick me with that cancer shot.
In the meantime, this pudgy punter is having a mid-redlight crisis. It’s low season, and as such I should be ecstatic. The throngs of sweaty, unkempt, shitbrained asshole motherfucking tourists have waned to a trickle. I should be over the moon. But I can’t seem to work up any enthusiasm. In truth, I’m bored with the Bangkok nightlife scene. This is a continuation of my train of thought from last week’s blog. For as long as I’ve gone there—which is 15 years—Soi Cowboy has been an overpriced, boring, corporate money suck and Nana has been a reasonably-priced, boring corporate money suck. Patpong was always a magical miniHeaven full of warm, beautiful, fun, friendly girls a monger could make into lifelong friends-with-benefits. But since Covid, and the closing of the Pong’s best bars, and the onset of GenZ laziness and greed, the Pong has devolved into the same boring corporate shitshow as Nana and Cowboy. It’s a sad state of affairs. What’s a monger to do? Hit Suk 7/1? Please. Go to Thurmae? Fuck off. And so at the moment, I’ve no urge to monger at all.
Another factor in my change in redlight habits is retirement. For over a decade, my routine was the same. Wake up at 6 am, slog through an 11-hour day (that included a 1-hour commute to and from work), come home, shower, and head to the redlight (9 out of 10 times it was the Pong), monger like a rockstar, mo’taxi home at 22.30 and fall asleep before my head hit the pillow. Now, everything’s ass-backwards. At nighttime, I’m never tired anymore. I lay awake until 3 am either watching cat videos on my phone or thinking through all my past mistakes. Getting out to the redlight’s like pulling teeth.
Maybe I’m pessimistic. It could be because I recently lost my top 3 concubines, who through a series of unfortunate coincidences all managed to snag Thai boyfriends or tomboys who won’t let them out of their sight. And I know, it’s part of the harem life to hold on with a loose grip and let them go when it’s time, and they all inevitably do go. That’s not the problem. It’s the dual punch of losing them combined with the newly-boring state of the Pong that’s raining on my redlight parade. It feels like the universe is telling me to move to Ptown.
In the interim, I’m stuck with the rest of my harem. The new number 1 has been with me for 9 years. She’s a veteran of Electric Blue and Black Pagoda, and I can’t include her name because she’s a self-proclaimed lesbian, and the only evidence to the contrary are her weekly visits to my bed. In her illustrious gogo career, she never went with customers. In fact, it took me four years of patient persistence to finally break down her defenses. The new 2 and 3 are exXXX Lounge girls. One has left the pole and gone back to uni, transforming into a chunk monster for lack of exercise. My last lady is one I knew casually as a galpal for years until one day, she casually mentioned she’d like to trade a BJ for rent money sometime, and whammo. None of these chicks are enough to keep me from relocating, though. Pattaya looks more tempting than ever, at this point.
For now, though, I’ve changed my daytime routine in hopes of improving my quality of life. Namely, I start each day with a one-hour walk around Sathorn and Silom. What a thriving, electric part of town! When I had a day job, I only saw these streets and alleys at night, after everyone had gone home. By day, they’re frenetic arteries of bustle and commerce. And with my teenage playlist in my earbuds, it’s a montage of sights and sounds fit for any exotic travel vlog. It turns out, there’s a fitting soundtrack for sunlit Bangkok streets. Counting Crows’ “Recovering the Satellites” is perfect for driving Highway 1 from Santa Barbara to Morrow Bay California. U2’s “Joshua Tree” is apropos for the old back road to Vegas via Bakersfield. For walking through Sathorn, it’s Jeff Buckley, or Julian Casablancas’ solo album, or oddly enough, UB40. I end my walk each day with an espresso-mint coffee and a bag of apple and kiwi slices because I’m trying to reset my gut biome. Now if only I can stop taking a four-hour nap every afternoon, I’ll be able to get to sleep at a decent hour and maybe get this monger’s life back on track.
I did get out to Soi Cowboy and the Pong last week. Here’s how it shook out…
Stop 1 on Cowboy was Spritz–the Thai food joint next to stumble inn. Jesus what a rip-off. 120b for a water and 240b for rad naa. It’s the trappings of the touristy places to get charged quadruple the going rate. The same meal at Derby king would’ve been 140b.
As I polished off my noodles, four smarmy old locals came in, hugged all the staff, and ordered a bottle of white wine in a bucket of ice. They invited two freelancers to join them and a party ensued. I knew Cowboy had regulars but they were a strange bunch. I couldn’t make out the language they spoke. If I had to guess I’d say Greek or Sicilian. Something Mediterranean.
Then I pushed on to Dollhouse just for nostalgia’s sake. “Memories” by David Guetta blared through the speakers. Man, that took me back. Specifically, back to Amy 69 on disappointment street in Ao Nang, and the beer bars of Lamai Beach Koh Samui, and Bangla Road Patong. That was back when you could pull a shorttime girl simply by approaching her in 7-11, and the bars were rammed with 9s and 10s. Today you’d be hard pressed to find an 8 in a hundred chicks on Bangla or BKK. And the proof was on the Dollhouse stage. In 2010 the rotation was spectacular. Today it’s like a scene from the Muppet Show. The 2nd rota had two winners, but that’s paltry compared to Cowboy’s glory days.
The girls were hungry. You could tell by the long, lingering stares like sharks eyeing chum. If I was a noob, it would’ve made me uncomfortable. I left without finishing my Chang draft.
Then for shits and giggles I stopped in to Bad Beach where an old Patpong mamasan always greets me like a long-lost friend. The first rota was topless and grim. My friend assured me they have cool shows later in the evenings. I didn’t plan to stay for those. The 2nd rota had one superhot butterface. The mamasan saw me leering at her and confided that soon they’d be offering shorttime rooms upstairs. It’s not something this old goat would go for, but I can see the appeal. The dumbest thing Nana ever did was get rid of their shorttime rooms.
Rainbow is flailing. Rota 1 had six girls. Rota 2 had two. No lookers among them. I think I have to admit to myself that not a single gogo on Soi Cowboy can hold my interest. My original plan was to also hit Long Gun and Tilac. In the end, I couldn’t work up the desire and instead beat a retreat t’Pong.
Cowboy was pretty dead when I left. Contrast that with the absolute zoo in the Patpong night market. One second inside k1 reminded me why I prefer the pong. In one rota I spotted more 10s than what I saw on the whole of Soi Cowboy. Offy sat down next to me and shouted, “Seven! You stop writing about me in your blog!” Evidently she’s been getting farang who come in and give her shit concerning my excerpts about her. We agreed that I can keep doing it, as long as I don’t use her real name. And so my galpal Pim swung by for a ladydrink and a chin wag. I like when she’s next to me because all the other off-duty girls watch us like hawks, and I’m able to ogle the hot ones onstage without fear of being accosted. The manager bought me a drink just as it started to piss down, so when I polished off the cocktail I scooted into K3 through the side door. There was a 9 and two 8s in the first rota. The 9 was a chick who spurned my offer for a spot in the harem two months ago. She kept glancing over as though she might’ve reconsidered. Too late, honey. I’d reject her now on principle. I stayed to see the 2nd rota. There were two 8s. Then I slipped over to New2. The joint was positively raging. I hadn’t seen that many customers or girls in there in a while. Among the rotations were a few new faces, indicating that business is good and newbies are still showing up from the countryside to sling their gash for cash.
If New2 was a zoo, K Corner was an insane asylum. There was a contingent of 8s in each rota…I’d say half a dozen in each, plus several 8s. A girl I used to nail back in 2014, who long since aged out and got too fat for Seven, greeted me with a wai and a knowing smile that said “I know what your wang tastes like.” After several cocktails, I got a little handsy with some of the galpals in there. Their reaction is always the same: I pinch an ass, the girl jumps and squeals “Sevennn!” and grabs me around the waist. We wrestle for a bit and then they ask for dinner money. Despite my current chagrin regarding the situation in the redlight, but it’s still possible for this old gogo rat to eke out a good time. At least I can assure myself that a BK redlight night will still meet my monger needs, even as I weigh the pros and cons a permanent move to the beach.
In other news, everywhere I went on the night I saw a drastic uptick in local expat activity. It’s as if they were just waiting for low season, when the one-week millionaires and yakuza go home. Summer is the Cheap Charlie’s time to shine.
This week’s Members Only Gallery is dedicated to just one gogo dancer—her name is Bow, and for a few glorious years in the mid 20teens, she was the hottest piece of ass in the whole of Bangkok. The link is here: https://bangkokseven.com/members-only-gallery-bangkoks-hottest-retired-gogo-dancer/
but only if you become a Member. The price is $1 per month, and new content is added weekly. I’m too dumb to figure out how to link the weekly posts to a single button on my website, so I put the links on my social every Friday. Sorry for the inconvenience.
And that’s all the monger that’s fit to ponder for now, friends. Sorry for all the typos. I didn’t proofread. Check back next Sunday for another summary of this redlight life. In the meantime, you can read more Bangkok-centric stuff on my Substack: https://bangkokseven.substack.com/
Slideshows from previous blogs going back several years can be found at https://www.youtube.com/c/BangkokSeven
My buddy Jack and I host a growing Facebook community with lots of nightlife-related content at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thaiagogo
and I’ve got a small but robust group of pervs posting photos daily at a group called Super Hot Asians here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/374120690195407
Follow me on Twitter/X @BangkokSeven for daily monger material, along with these other profiles that’re chock full of photos of hotties:
@superhotthais
@BangkokNightli2
If you’re feeling generous, you can leave a tip on any of the above X profiles. All proceeds will go to creating more redlight content.
I’ve started to sell my artwork in digital download bundles, so if you fancy some gogo dancer-related pictures, mostly nude Thai chicks photoshopped as paintings, you can get ‘em on the cheap at my Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThailandNights
Right now I have several bundles of four to five pictures each (as shown below) for under $10 US apiece.
And until next time fellow BK Bukowskis and Bathshebas, keep your balls (or tits) warm, your beer cold, and cheers to another week above ground in the greatest country on Earth: Thailand.
Pro Tip Post-Script: Never post nudes on your Twitter. If you do, unbeknownst to you you’ll get a label slapped on your account called “NSFW.” It’s basically a shadow ban and it’ll cripple your ability to grow your following.
