Happy high season, reader. We locals are officially fucked until after Songkran. For the next 6 months, Thailand will be infested with shitty tourists acting like supercunts, ruining everything. Hooray.
My plan to spend less time in the redlight fell apart last week. I wound up mongering Tuesday to Saturday, thanks to a spooky holiday, a gogo grand opening, and invites from some Nana VIPs. Here’s how it shook out…
Tuesday was Halloween and a workday so I had to get out to the RLDs to check out the costumes and then get back home in short order. The ordeal began with a mo’taxi ride t’Cowboy and a slice at Capone’s. My driver smelled like straight ass—not sweat, but like an actual butthole. He offered me a bag of ganja. I declined, but whatever it was must’ve been good stuff because he was in the fucking zone. We weaved through traffic at top speed. It should’ve horrified me but his skill and confidence preempted any fear. From Silom to Cowboy I don’t think he hit the brakes once. ‘Twas a magnificent feat of motorbike mastery.
Stop 1 was to Dollhouse where the girls donned one of three costumes: spooky nurse, naughty nun, or lingerie, along with the obligatory eye-liner stitches and Joker smile. My muse wore a black lace teddy, which actually covered more of her body than her normal DH uniform. Black and orange balloons helped complete the mood. I also popped into Rainbow where the dancers had the exact same costumes as the DH girls. Both gogos were a frenzy of furious fun. The gals at Long Gun didn’t wear costumes—just black bikinis and face makeup. Very minimalist, I liked it. And so did everyone else, because the place was rammed at 20.45. I probably should’ve checked out some more bars but there wasn’t time.
Nana Plaza was utterly crazy. Halloween is really their night to shine, especially Angelwitch, where it’s practically Halloween every day of the year. The dancers all wore the same outfit: black bras and panties with a sheer black bodysuit that had a pattern of circular holes like something out of the original “Bade Runner.” It was all pumpkins and skeletons in there, and they put on a couple of special shows, one to the tune of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” that brought down the house. The DJ spun Ozzy, AC/DC, Kiss, and Dire Straits “Money for Nothing.” Billboard had a costume party but there’s never any room to move in there, it’s so crowded so I skipped it and hit Tycoon and Essence instead. There were some really creative costumes in there (see this week’s YouTube slideshow companion, link below).
Patpong was more toned-down this year than previous years. I think the King’s group collectively decided to tell their girls not to go super crazy with their outfits. Except for some spooky face paint, there wasn’t much of a Halloween spirit. K1 put up some balloons and spider webs, and had a few witch mannequins out front, but that was all.
After praising their hospitality in last week’s post, and buying literally thousands of drinks in there over the years, and promoting them in my blogs for six years, I posted a photo album of pics I’ve taken in Pink Panther over that span of time on bentbox.co. After BB takes their cut, I make 100 baht from each sale. You’d think after all that free PR, Panther would gratefully permit me to recoup a tiny fraction of the money I’ve spent in their bar. But no. Last week, the manager asked me to delete the photo album. I said I would, but I’m going to wait a couple days to give anyone who wants it the chance to buy it. Oh, and I’m never going into Pink Panther again, so if you want news on their bar, you’ll have to look elsewhere….oh that’s right, there is no “elsewhere.” Seven’s the only one blogging about the redlight.
On Wednesday, the brand spanking new Virgin gogo bar opened in Patpong, in the spot where Glamour used to be, across from Foodland. The long-running rumor that the dudes behind Twister in NanaP were opening a bar in the Pong. Virgin is that bar. Many girls from Nana and other parts of the Pong flocked t’Virgin to 1—come home and 2—work with Ms Pang, the manager, who clearly has the fidelity of many a Bangkok fanny. I don’t know if it was kismet or coincidence but many of the former Glamour girls took up residence in Twister, and the second Virgin opened they were back on that stage like homing pigeons or spawning salmon. Na, Jane, and Luktal (former Glamour girls), Best, (from Electric Blue and XXX Lounge), Fern (Radio City), and a host of other hotties have taken the bar by storm. Because as the saying goes, you can take the girl out the Pong, but you cant’ take the pong out the girl. The Décor is awesome, and the girls are all in really good spirits, probably because the place has been total pandemonium since the minute they opened the door. Prices are a bit steep (180b for a beer, 230 for a lady drink), but then things are going that way Bangkok-wide. Those who haven’t bumped up their prices by 10 baht are considering it. But if the Thai spillover of the entire rest of the world falling apart is a 10b raise in beer prices, I’d say that us getting off easy. And I have to say, the extra expense stung a bit less when those old Patong babes took to the stage. I felt a real thrill of nostalgia, like the lightning-in-a-bottle magic that used to color every Patpong gogo like sexual gold dust. ‘Twas suddenly rekindled in Virgin, like some kind of Thai girl pussy-alchemy. I could’ve been sitting in Goldfinger, or Superstar circa 2011, or Bada Bing back when they were so popular they operated two floors, or Electric Blue. Like Madonna’s song, “Like a Virgin,” I felt the same as when I experienced the Pong for the first time over a decade ago. It brought back a feeling of belonging. Of a pre-coital post-orgasm slaking. Here’s hoping it spreads like love spreads in a Stone Roses song. It’s proof that, had the police not maliciously and illegally shut down XXX, Black Pagoda, and The Strip, those bars would be the best redlight venues in Bangkok right now.
On the same night, Jack Nites had a photo shoot in King’s Corner, so I tagged along. The girls love Jack, but they’ve known me for years and for that reason, I think I bring a sense of calm for girls who’d maybe get nervous in front of a lens.
On Thursday, I had no intention of redlighting—that is, until a Nana VIP invited me to watch rehearsals for some new Angelwitch shows. It was my first time seeing NanaP in the daylight, and I was surprised at how good it looked. The days of sleazy Nana are long gone. It looks quite respectable now—and futuristic. Everyone’s got their own LED display, and the Plaza owners are going to install one that wraps around the entire 2nd floor. Plus the old short-time hotels are being converted into gogos.
When the lights went down in Angelwitch, we got a little Cougar-Mellencamp, REM, Twisted Sister, Motley Crue, and even a little Depeche Mode, I tell you what. Four hours, I spent in there, drinking with the owners, who by the way wouldn’t let me pay for my beers. That’s what you call a class act. My one takeaway was, I never want to own or manage a gogo. It’s way too much work. We puntermongers are a privileged group. We get to drink booze, ogle dancers, listen to good tunes, and grab a little ass. And the crew behind the scenes move heaven and earth to make it happen for us.
Friday began back in NanaP after a quick dinner of Snickers and a Heineken Silver with an hour and a half photo session in Geisha. Jack Nites was doing his think again, and so so was I. The Thai staff there are terrific, and the girls were fantastic to work with. Everyone had a blast, and now that Jack’s contracted to do their social media, I guess I’ll be in there a lot more often. It’ll be nice to have an extra place to hit up in the Plaza.
Then I popped over t’Cowboy and Dollhouse, and was relegated to their upstairs for lack of seating. The redlights get more crowded by the day. Rainbow was teeming with customers and clunge. I stuffed a hundy down the front of Satang’s shorts. Goddam, there are some fit girls in that gogo. And they’re hungry for maletention (male attention).
After Rainbow, I skipped t’Pong and Virgin, which was rammed like the Patpong of old. Since it opened on the 1st I’ve been in every night. Four nights, four costume changes, and new girls from every corner of the Bangkok redlight. Virgin’s drawing them in like a sexy Charybdis.
On Saturday I walked t’Pong and could barely get to the gogo, so crowded was the Night Market. It was probably because of the new 3-piece band playing tunes outside of Derby King. Instinctively, I went to K1 first, instead of Virgin, where I should’ve gone. That’s going to have to be a new habit going forward. I’ve a feeling I’ll spend the bulk of my “night out” money there. ‘Twas white lingerie night in K1, and there were enough girls with flat tummies and thigh gaps to make a grown man cry.
On opening night, Virgin had only two servers, and it weren’t enough. I don’t think they were prepared for instant popularity. On Saturday, they were training a newbie, which was smart. Day 5 in V saw a 5th costume change. There’s something about a girl in a bikini and thigh-high boots. It ain’t brunch attire. A girl in that getup wants to get up to just one thing. There’s a newhotskinny—well actually, there are seven—but one is the spitting image of my first (and only) Thai girlfriend from back when I lived in Krabi. That is to say, she’s the spitting image of my girlfriend at 18. Holy guacamole, reader. They say you can’t get back what you lost, but in Thailand at least, you can get a girlfriend facsimile (girlfax for short, copyright BKK7). I finished out the night back at K1—after cocktails in K Corner and King’s 2—with a Drew Estate Acid Blondie. Som kept me company, and even took a drag off the cigar. She didn’t like it.
…Gangs of hipster douchebags roamed the lanes of Nana and Patpong, I watched a farang couple break up on Soi 1. Happens all the time. Thailand rule number 15 is, don’t bring your girlfriend to Thailand. Yesterday someone posted a video of Suvarnaphumi airport and the 3-hour queue at Immigration. We’re being invaded, reader. The next few months are going to be a tourist-ridden hell. Speaking of, and speaking of queues, last night I had to wait in one just to get at the beer cooler in 7-11. And the Eurodouche that blocked my access then bickered with the cashier about the price of his fucking Smirnoff Ice. We are already neck-deep in cunts, my friends.
If you haven’t yet, check out my MGThai video series on my YouTube channel. It’s strictly mediocre content from a Thai expat perspective.
Artwork and photo albums from inside the gogos are available for digital download at https://bentbox.co/bangkoksevenart at superlow prices.
And that’s all the monger that’s fit to ponder for now, friends. Check back next Sunday for another summary of this redlight life. In the meantime, you can read more about Bangkok life on my Substack: https://bangkokseven.substack.com/
Photos of everything in this blog can be found in the YouTube slideshow companion for this post at https://www.youtube.com/c/BangkokSeven
Follow me on Twitter/X @BangkokSeven for daily pics from the redlight, and until next time, keep your balls warm, your beer cold, and cheers to another week above ground in the greatest country on Earth: Thailand.
Pro Tip Post-Script: Don’t post ladyboy jokes on my Twitter/X and don’t try to advertise your shitty, 100-follower profile. I’ll block you.
