Greetings, reader. How’s your day going? My name’s Seven and this is my blog. This post is an attempt to provide redlight newbies with useful info for navigating through either Soi Cowboy, Nana Plaza, Patpong, or any other area in Thailand where you’re trying to chat up a girl in short shorts and bikini top. You’ll see what I mean when we get into it. What follows is a glossary of mostly Thai phrases that will help any wannabe monger get along in the adult entertainment zone, beer bar, soapy massage, Bangla Road-type scenario where a foreign dude wants to delve into dangerous liaisons like a pro. Let’s get started…
BoomBoom—Believe it or not, this is the redlight term for sex.
Men—menstruation. If a girl tells you “I have men,” she means she’s on her period. She doesn’t have a closet full of dudes at home.
Hahm nawn—The literal translation is “dick sleep.” This is a useful phrase if you’re chillin’ in the gogo with no agenda for fucking a girl, and/or no desire to buy anyone a lady-drink, and the mamasan tries to coax you into having a girl over, or pushes you to barfine someone. You can say “Hahm nawn” as a way of saying you want to be left alone.
Hahm keekyet—Literal translation: “lazy dick.” This is a cleverer way to fend of a pushy girl/mamasan when you don’t want to barfine or buy drinks.
Hong nam y unai?—“Where’s the toilet?”
Ow eek—“Want another.” It’s what you say when you empty your bottle of beer and want the barmaid to bring you another one.
Duhrn arai?—“What do you want to drink?” When you want to buy a drink for a girl in the gogo, you can ask her. Throw a “kahp” on the end to make your question more polite.
Checkbin kahp—“I want the bill (with politeness).”
Tow rai?—“How much (does it cost)?” That first word is pronounced like the first syllable in the word “towel.” You can use this for everything. Beer tow rai? Barfine tow rai? BoomBoom tow rai?
Nom—Literal translation is ‘milk’ but Thais use it to refer to a woman’s tits.
Hoy/hee/jeem—All slang words for “vagina.”
Mao—Drunk
Yahng mai mow—“I’m not drunk yet.”
Mao laew—“I’m drunk already.”
Gin kow—Literal translation: “eat rice.” But Thais use it to refer to eating anything/everything.
Gin kow l’yang?—Have you eaten yet? Thais use this as a common greeting, similar to Americans asking “How’s it going?” or Brits asking “All right?”
Bai short time mai?—Do you want to fuck really quick? When you barfine a girl (pay to take her out of the bar) there are two types—short time and long time. Long time means the girl stays with you overnight. For you soft romantic types, this concept might be appealing. For hardened mongers like me, the thought of her being there in the morning (let alone taking up space in my bed all night) makes me throw up in my mouth. And long time costs double or triple the short-time price. Short time means taking the girl to a nearby love motel for an hour before releasing her back into the wild. So when you ask a girl, “bai short time mai?” you’re asking her if she wants to go with you for a quickie. Many of the girls who barfine will only go short time, usually because of a Thai boyfriend and/or a kid at home.
That’s enough to get the basic language down. When I can think of more, I’ll make another post. For now, get t’practicing, bruh.
And that’s all the monger that’s fit to ponder for now, friends. Check back next Sunday for another summary of red-light events. In the meantime, you can read more about Bangkok life on my Substack: https://bangkokseven.substack.com/
You can check out the latest pics and vids from my redlight rounds over at https://www.youtube.com/c/BangkokSeven
Follow me on Twitter @BangkokSeven for daily pics from the redlight. Follow King’s Castle’s Twitter @SPatpong, and until next time, keep your balls warm, your beer cold, and cheers to another week above ground in the greatest country on Earth: Thailand.
